Case Studies for Interacting with Those Who Think Differently from You

Consider the following four scenarios. In particular, consider how you would want to approach interacting with an individual who thought differently than you on any one of these topics. This means you are not primarily aiming to argue your own perspective (although in a real-life setting, this opportunity could arise); you are primarily aiming to understand and engage with this other person and their views.

• Immigration
• Abortion
• Eschatology – Eschatology has to do with the biblical doctrine and study of “last things.” It includes the return of Jesus, the nature of the Kingdom being perfectly and finally established on earth, human eternal destiny, etc.
• Age of the earth – i.e., are the creation days in Genesis literal 24-hour days, or are they figurative and symbolic of longer periods?

Next, here is a list of potential questions you might think through in order to kindly and courageously dialogue with a person about any of these topics:

• Can disagreement be – as C.S. Lewis believed – fun, interesting, and capable of deepening relationships? What is your instinctive response?
• Do you tend to be more of a “rhino” (someone who enjoys and plows into controversy and debate) or a “hedgehog” (someone who enjoys harmony and tends to run from controversy and debate)?
• For any of these four subjects, be honest. In what ways are your opinions shaped more by gut intuition versus rational reflection? What are the emotional factors that shape your opinions? What about social influences (e.g., friends, family, socioeconomic status, etc.)?
• If you had the chance to engage with someone else who thought differently than you, how would you decide whether or not to pursue a conversation about this topic? How would you know when to withdraw, and when to keep talking?
• Think of where you generally land on each of these four subjects. Now consider what are possible reasons that someone who thinks differently does so? What experiences might have shaped them? What has their social context been? This does not mean you are agreeing with them, but it does mean that you are trying to imaginatively immerse yourself in their world.
• Are each of these four subjects on equal footing in terms of the “acceptability” of where people might land in their views? For example, is a difference on the subject of abortion as serious as a difference in age of the earth?
• Are you aware of what Christians over the centuries have thought about these subjects?
• To what degree is seeking to represent Christ part of your thinking process? How does striving to honor Him impact how you might proceed in a disagreement?
• How tightly do you cling to your opinions of these subjects? Which of these subjects do you view as more “black and white?” Are any of them more “gray?” What are you basing this on?
• Do you believe that you might have personal blind spots on any of these subjects? Like what?
• If you were interacting with someone who disagreed with you, do you believe that how you engage (a kind and benevolent disposition) matters as much as the soundness of the logical arguments you make? Why or why not?
• What are potential areas of common ground you might have with someone in any of these subjects?
• If you were interacting with someone who thought differently than you, what would be your highest goal?
• How do you think you’d respond (internally and externally) if the other person made a point that you didn’t have an answer for?

Lastly, here are those four topics with some of my own questions and thoughts (my aim is to demonstrate a self-awareness of important details and my own limitations, not to necessarily persuade you in a particular direction). I would add that I do not think these four topics are all of equal importance, and this should likely factor into how convinced we are on one topic versus another.

• Immigration
  
  • How well do I understand a biblical theology of the role of government?
  • Have I ever personally met or known an immigrant? How do I think the answer to this question may impact my overall stance on immigration?
  • How well do I understand the best arguments of those who are more liberal in their views of immigration? More conservative in their views?
  • Many biblical characters were immigrants (even Jesus at one point). In what ways — if any — does this shape my views?
• Abortion
  
  • What are the scientific reasons that someone might believe a fetus is actually a human being?
  • What does the Bible have to say about this subject?
  • What are the reasons that someone might think abortion is a legitimate option? Even if I disagree with their ultimate conclusion, are there any legitimate underlying reasons for their view that I can find common ground on?
  • Have I ever known someone who was wrestling with whether or not to go through with a pregnancy? Does this matter?
  • How would I want to show someone who disagreed with me on this topic that I still care for them as a person?
• Eschatology
  
  • What does Scripture major on saying when it comes to the end times? What does Scripture seem to leave more unclear?
  • Why do I hold my own view? Did I come to it completely on my own, or did others help shape this?
  • How well do I understand the views of Christians in past centuries on this topic?
• Age of the earth
  
  • If I think the earth is older (more than 6-10 thousand years), how well do I understand why many Christians seem to make this topic a litmus test for overall fidelity to Scripture?
  • If I think the earth is young (~6,000 years old), how well do I understand the views of Christians who think differently? Is it just as simple as “They’re sell-outs” or “They don’t care about Scripture”?
  • Do I have any friends who think differently from me about this subject? Why not? Does this limit me in any way?
  • How well do I understand what Christians throughout history have thought on this subject? Is it one-sided? Has there been a variety of opinions?
  • To what extent do I think this subject is indicative of how faithful a Christian is?

This post is the tenth (and final) in a series deriving from the “Staying Friends Through Disagreement” seminar that took place at Rocky Creek in April 2026. This post, in particular, may be more challenging to fully appreciate if you have not read the series of posts that preceded it. If you’d like to receive the PDF note packet and audio version of that seminar, you may email allen@rockycreek.church.